EGYPT!!!

Holy crap everyone!  I’ve just been to Egypt!

My guardian forgot me when she went to Antwerp and Brussels in Belgium.  She forgot me when she went to Cardiff (probably lucky cause she ended up with a migraine there – but liked perving at the rugby lads).  But there was no way she was forgetting to take me to Egypt!  (She even packed me 4 days early!)

So Cairo – not my favourite place, it’s crazy and dirty but did get to see Tutankhamen’s mask and casket etc.  Amazing – cept the crazy number of people in the small room.  Got people claustrophobia and left.  Disappointingly no pics were allowed in there.

Next day was the pyramids!  Friggen awesome.   How long have I waited to come to here?  I stared with incredulation at them, pondering theories on how they were made thousands of years ago.  Did the cheesy hand on top of the pyramid, of course.

The Cheesy Pyramid Shot

Me and the Sphinx

After Cairo we took the overnight train to Aswan.  Things run on Egyptian time here and the trip is supposed to be 12 hours but has been known to take on average, 15 and the most, 36.  Thankfully ours was 12 hours.

Me standing on the Pyramid

Today was a relaxing day in Aswan, showers after the dusty train, a trip to the markets,  followed by a Nubian dinner.  Quite tasty this Egyptian food and random dancing.  The next morning was a 2:45am wake up call!  Can you believe that???  2:45 AM!!  Why?  Cause Abu Simbel is 280km away and we had to travel with the police convoy.

Abu Simbel is incredible.  How on earth did the ancient egyptians build this huge temple?  The carvings, the rooms, not to mention cutting it into chunks and raising 64 metres so the new high damn didn’t flood it in ‘96.   Why is it, with all our modern technology, can’t we make things to last yet these temples have survived up to 5000 years?

Abu Simbel

Abu Simbel

The next two nights were spent sailing the Nile on board feluccas.  We aptly named our felucca “The Love Boat”, with byline “Keeping it Sexy” as our cushion and suncloth was pink with hearts and “Love” printed all over it.  We had a brilliant group of Kiwis, Aussies and a couple of Brits.  Our crew served us food and opened our beers.  We never want to see another pita pocket or hard boiled egg again!  Swimming in the Nile was fresh.  The Egypt Belly in the bushes and sand hole long (OK short) drop, was not!

Luxor brought us more temples and… Hot Air Ballooning!!  Wicked!  Another very early wake up call, like 3:30 AM but oh so worth it.  Views of the Valley of the Kings, the Nile and Queen Hatshepsut’s Temple graced us from our vantage point, 2000 metres above.   When we landed we visited the Valley’s tombs.  We were allowed to go into 3 and chose Ramses I and Ramses IV as well as TutMoses.  How is it that the colour in these tombs have lasted 4000 years but they’ve had to close the cave paintings in France so the colours aren’t lost?  Incredible.  Thankfully, we were in a 5 Star hotel in Luxor with decent bathroom facilities as something dodgy hit and dinner came straight out.

Another overnight trip on the train brought us back to Cairo.  The filth, I don’t understand.  Rubbish is strewn everywhere and sheep, goats and stray dogs feed on it, spreading the mess further.   Does it make it ok just because they are a developing country?  Surely they have more intelligence to realise what they are doing?

So anyway, back at the hotel, gorgeous pool, not feeling so good, final night and one should be up for a few beers, right?  Wrong!!  Food poisoning!  Both ends!  7pm til 12am and a sinus infection to boot.  Not a great way to end an amazing trip.  But after 13 years I can finally say… Egypt… Done!

Next stop – Danish Officer Boy’s guided tour of Copenhagen.

Johnny

Nessy to Van Gogh

True to form, the first week of summer holidays consists of… rain, and shit loads of it.  The Scotland tour with Lou and Andy included Pitlochery, Aberdeen and not a lot else due to the cold, wet lack of visability – although I did get to share a pint of Old Speckled Hen with my new found mate.  The leg with Sunny and Virg found us Nessy hunting and in love with the greenery.

France – Bergerac, fake cave paintings, sunflowers, sunflowers and more sunflowers – how can you be sad with thousands of bright sunny faces smiling at you – assuming you’re facing the right direction, otherwise you get their green arses!!  From Bergerac to Carcassonne to the Med!!  Finally found a spot for a plunge in the blueness that is water to cool off from the intensenes that is heat.  Up through the centre and a stop in Normandy.  Tears to be shed at the DDay Beaches and Memorial Cemetries.  True to American “holier than thou”, we rule the world form, the biggest, whitest – we stopped the war (but only after we were bombed by Japan” form – crosses, row upon row – had friggen security points!!  Like who’s going to bomb an exhibition on the American contingent????  Stuck up sods!

Anyhow, right became the new left, left became the new right (going round roundabouts backwards does that to you), snails were eaten, wine drunken, croissants overdone and Hotel B&Bs the new favourite places to stay.

Next stop – crap, back in Belfast for a month then… LONDON!!!

Johnny

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2 Sleeps!

Hey guys

It’s 2 sleeps until one must think about vacating this small town called Crieff, pack up and move to Basingstoke.  Why?  Unemployed again!!  Woo hoo!

I’ve finally put up some pics – sorted out Bubbleshare and discovered that this draconian network is the reason why I couldn’t put pics up in the first place – the link had disappeared completely!

Check out the ones of David’s closed pub – they are over on the Done it! Found it! Left it! page, I think – it’s blocked so can’t tell you right now.

In the meantime – here’s a couple of pics from a London Pub Crawl with two of my founders and a stop at the most expensive burger joint I’ve ever been inside.  That is, $30NZ for a hamburger!!!

Enjoy

Johnny

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Hola!

Well, I still haven’t put up the Prague pics but I’ve definitely been around since then.

5 cities in 8 days!  A mission for sure, but a worthwhile one, even though my Guardian lost her rag on occasion with her brother’s lack of time management – well she was always first with her reports, so you can understand.

Barcelona – love it or hate it, the architecture is out of this world.  Gaudi gives this city character and to think his cathedral still isn’t finished!!  Valencia – my favourite.  Great architecture, vibe and the beach isn’t too bad, although Alicante’s beach was nicer.  Long bus rides brought me to Granada – tiny cobbled streets, no space, no breathing room, hot.  But the Alhambra Palace!!!  Wow!!  Can’t be described.  Go check it out for yourself.

The last stop was Granada and my guardian, who is art illiterate pulled out her yellow piece of paper and come hell or high water, was checking out the Prado Museum, all cause my co-creator put it on that yellow list.  And we did, got my pic with Goya!  However, on further authority, she was whacked over the head for being a total dud and having no comprehension whatsoever of what she’d been looking at.  Perhaps the audio tour would’ve been better…  Still, the 2 hours of air conditioning was a life saver!!!

Tanned, well shoulders anyway, frizzled hair from the harsh water and humidity, absolute lack of sleep (hostelling days are drawing to a close… oh hang on, unemployed and broke again as of July 5!!!… doh!) and in much need of beer – premix Sangria’s just don’t cut the mustard.

Next stop… wait and see

Johnny

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Johnny’s Ex Boss in Trouble!!!!

For those of you who dont know Johnny was born and raised in what could be described as a “challenging environment” it has transpired that all the ills that were comitted on him and other members of a large, extended family are finally coming home to roost like pigeons on the shoulders of the person responsible. To read CLICK HERE Coo Coo!!!

Done it!!! Found it!!! Left it!!!

What has Johnny done, found and left…?  Click on the corresponding page to find out!!!  It’s over on the right hand side, in no particular order.

On the Road Again – Easter

Woo Hoo!  I wasn’t forgotten on the Easter Road Trip…

Ireland or Bust!  Check out the page by clicking on the link on the right.

Johnny

Historical Pub Crawling on St Paddy’s Weekend

Silante! It’s my last weekend in Belfast and I thought I should actually tag along on one of the pub crawls! Check out the pics!!

Don’t forget to click on the link on the right hand side….

Paris au Citron

I’ve decided to add a new post each trip so that the date alerts you to new escapades.  To find the actual page – locate the matching title on the right hand side.

Enjoy

Johnny’s Guardian

Arrested Development

Well after my extreme makeover… lazik eye surgery (no red contacts!!!), nose job, porcelain vineers (who said I could spell), liposuction round my back, I took a long flight to San Francisco…

Later that week…

My mama says I’m special. Jenny says I should run. Bubba Gump has shrimp everything.

The House was Full so I couldn’t go in. Broke in instead. Um, ended up in prison.

Johnny